Dear Deka: Annoyed and Fed Up

Dear Deka,

I’ve been having problems lately between my boyfriend and my friends. They can’t seem to get along with each other and its really starting to bother me. The other day they called me and asked if I wanted to join them at the beach for some drinks and girl talk. But of course the minute I told them my boyfriend was with me they ditched out on the plans. What should I do about this? I can’t keep up with the nonsense anymore.


Annoyed & Fed up

Dear Annoyed and Fed up,

Do you have an idea on what could have caused the conflict between your boyfriend and your friends? Or maybe a bad vibe was given out during one of your hangouts. I understand that sometimes girls just want to have girl time without the opposite sex around because, sometimes it can make things a bit awkward. There shouldn’t be a reason why every occasion is a no guy zone allowed, that would make any man suspicious as to why he’s banned from the outings.  Or maybe your boyfriend could have made it very clear to them that he doesn’t care to be around, so to avoid an awkward situation, they just avoid being around each other. My suggestion would be to plan something out doors where you can have your girls around and your boyfriend as well, to make it a social event invite some of his friends also. This will demolish, or even distract the tension that’s going on between them. As everyone’s having a good time (play music, drinks, food, etc..) try to have them join each others’ company and slowly put it out on the table. Let them know that you’re tired of being in the middle. That no matter what your friends will not be going anywhere, and try to give your boyfriend understanding  there’s going to be days when you just want to kick back and hang with the girls. Just make sure you make time for both to avoid having this situation blow back up in your face again. Hope it works out!!


If you’d like advice from Deka email us at 1039wdkx@gmailcom.

Food Link Mobile Pantry

Distribution Site: Holy City International Church

290 North Street Rochester, NY

Date: July 24, 2015

Time: 5pm-7pm

Must be 18 or older to accept food.

Food will be distributed on a first come first serve basis. Food is not guarded for all in attendance.

No income requirement.

No geographic limits.

No ID required.

Rain or Shine.

Canada Has #NoChill

Meek Mill might have put his foot in his mouth dissing Drake. Drizzy Drake’s country isn’t feeling Meek’s who is scheduled to perform at Toronto Amphitheater next week.

Toronto city’s Councillor Norm Kelly tweeted Meek “You’re not welcome in Toronto”

Peep the tweets here and more on this story here:

Black Supporter of the Confederate Flag Killed In Car Accident

Black Supporter of the Confederate Flag Killed In Car Accident

Anthony Hervey, a black male who was a popular and well-known supporter of the confederate flag was killed in a motor vehicle accident on Sunday.

The Mississippi Highway patrol is investigating the car wreck.

Hervey, 49, was in the Ford Explorer with Arlene Barnum, 60, of Stuart, Okla when the car went off the road and flipped over.

The crash was directly after their departure from the pro-Confederate flag event in Birmingham, Ala.

Hervey, author of “Why I Wave the Confederate Flag, Written by a Black Man, has drawn attention everywhere for his efforts to preserve the confederate flag. He was often seen and pictured wearing the flag or waving it on the Oxford Square.

The surviving passenger, Mrs. Barnum said the accident occurred after Mr. Hervey swerved to avoid another vehicle that had pulled alongside them. The other car, she said, first pulled up on the driver’s side. Mr. Hervey yelled something to the passengers in the other car, she said and then “sped up to get away.”

The car then drove around to the passenger side of the Ford Explorer, Mrs. Barnum said, and the S.U.V. veered into a ditch on the opposite side of the road. When Mr. Hervey steered the Explorer back up on the road, the S.U.V. began spinning and rolled over multiple times before landing on the highway’s right side.

When Barnum tried to talk to Hervey, both fastened with seatbelts, she said he did not respond after the car was done flipping.

After being transported to Baptist Memorial Hospital in Oxford, she learned Mr. Hervey had died. Mrs. Barnum suffered cuts and a fractured left foot.

Both Hervey and Barnum had relatives who were Confederate soldiers. She stated, ““I don’t like it when black people attack me on this,” she said. “I think it’s an attack on my Southern heritage.”


written by: Sedria Thomas

Stepfather Shoots Stepdaughter’s Boyfriend in the Face

Stepfather Shoots Stepdaughter’s Boyfriend in the Face

Ever been scared to meet the parents of your girlfriend or boyfriend?

Afraid that they are going to be mean or rude when they first meet you. They may have one of those sit down talks or they might just be completely loud and real with you.

In all, meeting parents is an important step in a relationship yet it is the scariest moment. It can either make or break the relationship.

If your parents do not like your boyfriend or girlfriend, that is asking for problems in the present and future.

Well for one Florida teenager his worst nightmare came true when he had to meet the stepfather of his girlfriend.

Allegedly a man is sitting in jail because he shot his stepdaughters’ boyfriend on the account that he did not like him.

Alvin Knight, 50, was arrested, charged with aggravated battery with a firearm and taken to the Orange County Jail following the shocking incident.

According to police statement the boy arrived at the home and was greeted by the stepfather and his friend. The two were both armed with firearms.

The teenager disclosed in his statement that he pulled the stepfather’s gun to his face and told him he was too scary to shoot him.

Well….. he shot him.

Luckily for the both of them the bullet just grazed his face and did not make internal connection.

Police said Knight and the victim are known not to like each other.

This incident gives a new meaning to meeting parents!

One of the Two Twin Brothers Accused of Murder is Dismissed

One of the Two Twin Brothers Accused of Murder is Dismissed

Just about two months has passed since a teenager was brutally beaten and stabbed by two twin brothers in early June.

Trenton Nelson, the victim, was chased down by a North Clinton Ave pawn shop on June 2nd and was stabbed to death. The two who were accused of the murder were Juan Mojena and his twin brother Darvis Mojena. The grand jury indicted them on charges of 2nd degree murder June 15th.

It has been seven weeks since the teen was killed. He was only 16.

Now, one of the teens accused of murdering his classmate has had their murder charges dropped until further notice.

Stacy Kelly, the mother of the victim, was not in court on Monday for the first time since her son’s death.

She predicted that they were going to drop the charges for Juan Mojena.

“It seemed like the lawyer was really trying to push for this, and that they’re only trying to drag this out,” said Kelly.

Kelly and her family are going through a rough time awaiting the justice that deserves to be served for their beloved 16 year old who was killed by his former classmates and friends.

“How do you try to piece your life back together and then have to re-live it all over in January, That’s the hard part,” Kelly said.

The two brothers will remain in jail on no bail and will be back in court August 3rd.

written by : Sedria Thomas

Dear Deka: Fresh Meat

Dear Deka,

I’m really nervous about starting school this year! I’ve never been out of Rochester and I’m going to school in Louisiana! I’m scared of leaving my family and being on my own. I basically have to start over my whole life! Do you think I should still go?

Fresh Meat



Dear Fresh Meat,
I know it’s going to be tough leaving your friends and family behind in order for you to exceed in life. Think of it this way though, you’re leaving for a good reason: To better your life, and outgrow the fear of starting brand new.

In life you never know the obstacles you may face at some points, you just have to be prepared. Life doesn’t come with instructions on how your suppose to live it! It’s not going to be easy but, in the end I guarantee you, it will pay off!

With technology now a days, despite being thousands of miles away from home, your family and friends are just a phone call away! Facetime them in the morning or before you go to bed, or even through the day just so you don’t feel like their completely out of their lives. Plus, the experience alone is going to be unimaginable!

The different scenery, the opportunity out there, even the new people you are going to encounter is going to be crazy! Who knows you might even find your soul mate or someone who values the same things in life as you do.

Life is all about taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes the best memories in life are the ones that come unexpected, or barely given any thought. You must see the world at every possible angle. You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity and just live with maybe’s or what-ifs the rest of your life. At least if you give it a chance to see the outcome, you can never tell yourself you failed.


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