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Good morning to all,
I am writing to ask for help with my son. He is a seven year old, second grader, that attends a Rochester City School. Let me start by saying he is a very intelligent young man with hopes of one day becoming a scientist doing medical research. He has a vocabulary that is above normal for his age and grade level. I am very proud of him and encourage his goals to ensure his success as an adult. He has been experiencing bullying at his school for some time now. My son has taken all of the steps I have taught him (ignoring and telling an adult) to try to help deal with the situation. My son is very head-strong and will stand up for himself if need be.
A few weeks ago, this bullying child punched my son in the face during gym. My son took no action against this child and was sent to the nurses office. I received a phone call from the nurse and my son got on the phone to explain to me what took place. My son expressed his anger about this child to me and I explained to him that he took the proper steps by letting the teacher take care of the situation. From my knowledge, the child sat it the principals office after the incident. I talked to my son that night and assured him that the issue will be resolved. My son explained to me that he was fed up with the way this child treats him and many of his classmates. My son told me that he is "sick of being picked on and pushed around" by this boy. He also told me that if the teachers do not do something about it he was going to stand up for himself the next time the boy touches him. I was extremely worried at that point, due to the fact my son just lost his grandfather to cancer in January, that he would lash out on this child and my sons behavior would go down hill. So, as any parent would I went down to the school and observed the child in the classroom. The behavior I witnessed was ridiculous He deliberately went across the classroom and started calling student rude and demeaning names. I was appalled. I went to the principals office and expressed my concern for my child and how my son feels he has to take matters into his own hands. I told her how I don't want my sons behavior to get out of control and I don't feel my child thinks school is a safe place at this time. She assured me that she would work with the teacher to come up with a plan that will keep my son away from this child. In the meantime, I contacted the school councilor and asked if she would meet with my son to talk about his loss at home so he would be able to express his emotions better.
No more than a week later the boy pushed my son and my son, in return, punched him in the eye. I was notified by the "acting" principal at the time, who gathered absolutely no information about the incident, and was told my son was going to receive ISS Monday morning. After I hung up with her, I called the superintendent's office and spoke to his secretary and told her what happened and how worried I am for my son, seeming he previously told me he was ready to take matters into his own hands. I went into school that Monday without my son and talked to his teacher. She told me that there has been complaints about this child by almost every child's parent in that classroom. I was also informed that the boy had had at least 14 referrals on him and only received ISS one time. I waited in the office to speak with the "acting" principal and question her on if she was going to get to the bottom of this problem. I explained that my son is not going to get punished by himself and she needs to look further into the situation. The outcome of that was ISS for the both of them. I felt my son needed a punishment because he needs to understand that it is not acceptable to put your hands on another person. So the ISS was my decision for both. What shocked me the most was when she said to me "Well maybe the boy learned his lesson and will leave your son alone". At that time, my jaw dropped to the floor.
My son told me this past Sunday that he doesn't want to go to school anymore and deal with this boy. He said he is a failure because he just doesn't know how to deal with this child. It broke my heart to hear that come out of my child's mouth.
Yesterday (4/9) another incident took place in the gym with my son and this child. The boy threw a basketball in my sons face, not once, but twice. My son broke and went after the boy. My son was the one who got caught and now today my son will be sitting in ISS again. I am so frustrated. I have tried to communicate with the staff at this school and NOTHING is being done. I am ready to pull my children out of this district. I have never had to deal with such nonsense from adults who claim to "love" our children. I have got the run around from every angle of this district. Both of my children have wonderful grades and put a lot of effort in. Due to these reasons and more, this is why parents are pulling out the children who want to learn and get an education.
This school and district should be ashamed of themselves for not backing up the parents who DO CARE!!!