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Every time you turn on the news, you hear a story about the youth of Rochester being involved in a crime. Even though I haven't conducted an official poll, the majority of crimes committed in Rochester are done by or to people under the age of 21. I've made the mistake of reading responses to online news reports about these crimes (a whole other issue to be discussed another time), and I asked myself the question, "When or if do we give up on OUR youth?"
I was sitting in my office earlier this year when a young man walked in (I will call him Carlton). Carlton had on a shirt and tie and asked if we were hiring. He was very soft-spoken and pleasant. I asked him a few basic questions and he always responded with, "yes ma'am, no ma'am." I knew we weren't hiring, but there was something about this young man's spirit that made me want to help him. He pulled up a chair and our journey began.....
I sent emails, text messages and made phone calls to several people in my circle inquiring about open positions. Almost immediately, I received several leads on jobs and even had two interviews set up for Carlton.
Carlton spent a few hours in my office that day. Upon further discussion, I learned that he was 19 years old and was serving the last few months of his parole from a conviction when he was 15. He had returned to the same living situation he was in prior to his arrest. He had just received his GED and was signed up for fall classes at MCC. I must admit, I was a little uneasy about helping him due to his record. A few days after our meeting, he came back to my office with a card to "Mom" which thanked me for, "being the only person who cared about me and told me I could be someone". At that point, I decided to go with my heart and help him.
Carlton did obtain a position at a youth center and jumped right in. He was the star of the summer program. Carlton and I got together every weekend. I would hire him to cut the grass and few others hired him as well. We would talk on the phone and go out to eat. We began to form a very close relationship.
With three months left on his parole, we would often talk about what it would be like when it was over. I also told him to watch himself and not do anything to risk getting in trouble. Without going into details, Carlton experienced challenges during the next month that would bring the average, strong, educated adult to his or her knees. I received a call one evening from Carlton and he said, "my parole officer caught me doing something that I shouldn't have been doing." I won't go into details, but some may have called it a minor infraction. I was so angry with him, because he was so close, I called him stupid.
Carlton is now back in jail, serving six months for a parole violation. When it first happened, I was so pissed and hurt. I had high hopes for Carlton. His HR Manager at his job even wanted to go to bat for him in court - that's how much of a great person he is.
Last month, I received a letter from Carlton. I have read the letter over and over again, trying to decide how to respond. One line in his letter sticks out more than any, "All I'm asking is for you to continue to be a positive person in my life - I don't have that many."
I guess my first move will be to print out this blog and mail it to him. Where do I go from there? I think about him everyday. I worry about how he is doing and what he will be like when he is released. I truly care about Carlton, but I am still very angry. I want to contact him. I don't know, but maybe you can help me or provide your stories.
Give Up, Or Not?
Write the Dean's List at: thedeanslist1@gmail.com
