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The Dean's List - I Can Relate with Obama
I was overjoyed with the speech Barack Obama made the other day about race issues in America. Many American's have applauded Senator Obama on his honest account of racism and the different ways people may view it. There has been an equal amount of outrage from mostly White American's complaining that he shouldn't have made the speech or that they were offended by the picture he painted. Offended? Do you have a right to be offended? Well, my grandmother always told me, "Don't judge someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes."
Take a walk with me for a moment......
I was born in Rochester, NY in 1963. My parents married in 1961. My father, a very dark-skinned Black man and a only child from Winter Park, FL and my mother, an Italian-American who was the baby of a family of 13 (her maiden name was Calucchia if any of my cousins that I never met are reading this). My father's family welcomed my mother with open arms. My mother's family however disowned her once she married my father. They never took into account that this man married my mother who was on welfare, with 3 children from her previous marriage to an Italian man, bought a house so that the entire family could live under one roof (2 of my brothers were living in foster care). He provided for and loved his new family. They only judged him by the color of his skin.
Six years after I was born, my father died. I was left to live in a house with my White mother and White brothers and sister. Barack talked about his Grandmother and her issues with race. That is mild compared to some of the stories I could share with all of you about things that happened in my own house! Most people would say, "What is the big deal?" - Don't judge me......
You may say that happened in the 60's and things were very different back then. Let's keep walking......
I worked as an Event Planner in Scottsdale, Arizona a few years ago. I was planning an event of a lifetime to take place in Pebble Beach, California. If you know anything about golf, you will also know that Pebble Beach is the Mecca of golf! I had done all of the pre-planning for the event by telephone and courier. The day arrived for me to do my first site visit. Needless to say, along with the excitement of going, I was a bit nervous too. This was the biggest thing I have ever done. I bought a brand new tailored black suit, got my hair, nails and toes done at the finest salon and even borrowed a friend LV briefcase, because mine was so beat up. I was ready to make an impression.
As I sat in my first class seat on the airplane during the one hour and a half trip to Monterey, I went over all of my notes, questions and thoughts. I had been talking to the folks at Pebble Beach for 2 months, so I knew this trip was only a formality and to smooth out any rough spots in the program. I began to calm down and looked forward to my two day stay at Pebble Beach.
Upon my arrival, there was a gentleman wearing a black suit and hat standing in the lobby holding a sign with my name on it. I introduced myself to him and he gave me a funny look, but then picked up my bags and led me outside to the limo waiting at the curb. Once in the car, there was a cheese and fruit tray inside, along with a bottle of champagne chilling. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! I was blown away when we pulled up to the Inn at Spanish Bay at Pebble Beach and there were at least 20 people smiling and standing in a half circle at the entrance waiting for my arrival. One woman even held a dozen roses in the fold of her arm. The driver said that the staff does that for all customers who are planning large events there. I took a deep breath, and pulled my most professional attitude together (and I was looking professionally fierce I must say), and stepped out of the limo. Every face that originally had a smile either turned to a frown or formed an "O" shape. The woman holding the rose even changed her stance and held them by the stems, with the buds pointing down to the ground. You could see the shock on their faces. I immediately started to feel very uncomfortable. Even though we pulled off a successful event (the fact that I spent $400K for the event ensured this), the phone relationships I had originally formed with these people were no longer there. You say, "Why am I so sensitive?" - Don't judge me.....
Walk on.....
Even though I could write a book about the numerous times I've experienced racism in my life, but I will only share one more item with you.
This past Tuesday, a friend of mine and I went to a local mall. My friend was in the market to purchase a very high dollar value electronic item. Dressed in jeans and sneakers, we walked into an electronics store. Mind you, everyone in the store was dressed the same way, even the workers in the store. First they ignored us. They then asked if there was anything we needed. When my friend told the clerk what he wanted, she smirked and said, "Let me get someone else to take care of you." Shortly after that, another sales clerk approached us. My friend told him what he wanted and he rolled his eyes while telling us how expensive it was. He acted like we were wasting his time. When he realized that we weren't and had the money to pay for it, his entire attitude changed. He even carried it to the car for us.
Some people may say that I'm being too sensitive and that there may be other reasons for the actions of these ignorant people. Unless you have experienced these things first hand, it's difficult for you to understand. Even though I am of mixed race, I identify myself as a Black woman. It's not that I discount my Italian heritage - it's that my entire life, I've been judged by the color of my skin. I've experienced discrimination beyond belief - even in my own home.
So Barack - keep telling the truth! Sometimes the truth hurts - that's why there are so many people upset - they can't handle or are embarrassed by the truth. America will never be one America until people open up their closed minds and realize that everything IS unfortunately "Black and White."
Are you ready to "take a walk" and change it?
You can write the Dean's List with your thoughts, ideas or comments at: thedeanslist1@gmail.com.
