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Valentine's Day. It's here and everywhere you look there's signs that love is taking the day to heart. But what if your heart isn't really in it and you're looking at celebrating the day that loves romance all by yourself?
Listening to friends make their candlelight dinner plans and watching co-worker after co-worker gush over her flowers can be a bit much for a singleton to take. But it doesn't have to be all bad. There's plenty of ways to survive - and even enjoy - Valentine's Day without a significant other.
Here, a few suggestions:
1. Have dinner with your mom
Want the experience of totally unconditional love and support? Forget trying to get that from a date - or, really, from a mate - there's really only one place to find it: Mom. Invite the woman whose love has carried you through every phase of your romantic life out for a fun dinner. Or offer to come over and cook for her. If she's single, she'll appreciate your company just as much as you'll enjoy hers. And if she's not? Her heart is too big to refuse you. (You also could have dinner with mom and dad.)
2. Pamper yourself
Let's face it. If you had a significant other to spend the day with, you still might not get the best present or surprises, so why not treat yourself? Is there something you've really been wanting lately? A particular piece of jewelry, maybe one that comes in that pretty teal box with the perfect white bow? Who says it has to come from someone else? Everyone deserves a little luxury. Or, go for an evening manicure, pedicure or massage. With everyone else out and about, you should have no problem getting an appointment.
3. Singles mingler
Something to remember about being single on Valentine's Day? A lot of other people out there are single too, and just as unhappy about it. Invite every unattached person you know to a singles-only coed get together. Serve some hors d'oeuvres, pour some cocktails and put on some music. In other words, have a party that celebrates your friendships. Get creative with the menu and decor, with either a pro-love or anti-Valentine's theme. If you don't know that many single people, your friends might. Ask every buddy you invite to bring someone else. Best case scenario? You or someone else might make a love connection and have a great "When we met" story later on.
4. Give another single a present
Whether Valentine's Day is really meant to celebrate all kinds of love - not just the romantic version - is a personal opinion. But if it's yours, go ahead and pay tribute to all the people you love and send cards or chocolates to your friends and family. (Have a niece? They especially appreciate those little tokens of affection.) A great way to cheer yourself up is by bringing cheer to another single friend, and it doesn't have to be elaborate or even candy-themed. Bring her flowers and wine or frame a fun picture. It's sure to bring a smile to her - and your - face.
5. Have a "love stinks" movie marathon
Single because of a recent romantic bust? Still angry with that less than perfect ex-someone? This might be the one day it's somewhat healthy to hold on to that grudge. (Meaning, it might get you through the day if you're somewhat sad.) Grab a like-minded friend, go by yourself to the video store or On Demand movie option and rent a slew of movies that are as anti-Valentine as you can get, including 1999's "Love Stinks," "Waiting To Exhale," "War of The Roses," and "Goodfellas."
6. Start a journal
If your single status is something that really bothers you, if you really are ready and willing to be in a healthy and committed relationship, but just haven't gotten it right, take this day to affirm what you are looking for by writing it down. It's no secret that people who know exactly what they want and go after it are much more likely to find it. Take out your journal and make lists of what is important to you in a relationship and what you will not tolerate. Maybe even make lists of what went wrong in previous involvements. That should reaffirm your decisions at having ended them and give you a good start to moving forward.
7. Have a girls/guys dinner out
Who says a singles celebration has to be contained to inside the house? Get that group of unattached people together and head out for dinner at a loud, busy restaurant. There won't be many - if any - lovey-dovey romantic couples there.
8. Go shopping
Really want to spend Valentine's by yourself, but still want a bit of a treat. Head to the mall and indulge your inner shopping diva. Sure, the store employees likely will think you didn't have a date. But you can always work something like, "My boyfriend is out of town until Saturday" into the check-out conversation. And, you'll likely be rewarded with very minimal crowds.
9. Send yourself flowers
Think every beautiful bouquet of eye-popping roses on your coworkers' desks came from their sweethearts? Guess again. A recent Bill Me Later/Ispos Insight survey found that 8 million Americans have sent themselves gifts, including flowers, on Valentine's Day. We suspect some of this is to cover up for forgetful spouses and boyfriends, but there very likely are as many women who just didn't want to feel left out when deliveries starting coming in at the office. So, go ahead and decorate your desk with a display. You can always say it came with no card. And what's more romantic - and jealousy inspiring - than a secret admirer?
10. Stick that arrow to Cupid
So, if you really hate Valentine's that much and can't think of any way to enjoy being single or at least tolerate being unattached on the holiday, go ahead and ignore it or openly loathe the day. Wear black. Refuse to watch TV on a night that's infiltrated with Valentine's episodes of your favorite shows. Mentally berate every red and pink-clad, giddy person you see. Refuse every chocolate you're offered. Don't answer the phone. Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy, because as a wise, romantically-challenged fictional (Sex and the City) character once said, the most important relationship you have is with yourself.
