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Mary J. Blige has a love-hate relationship with her fans, she reveals in the new issue of Vibe, out Tuesday.
They don't seem to like her when she's happy - but she doesn't want to be dark and depressed just to make them happy.
"When I took the chance to show people I can be happy, I lost a million of my fans," she told the magazine. "I was like, "I'm gonna have to lose y'all in order for us to live, because if I keep going down this dark hole, we're all gonna die together. I'm gonna slit my wrists or take some pills, and it's gonna be over."
That's why Blige feels obliged, more than ever before, to write love songs that she dedicates to her husband. "That's my buddy, my best friend, my business partner," she said. "He's got my back like nobody's ever had my back. I feel like God used him to come and pull me together."
Also getting Mary's back is Bill Cosby's wife, Camille, who helped inspire the themes on Blige's Growing Pains. "Bill Cosby called me like, 'My wife loves you! She says there's a song you need to write about love,' " Blige tells the magazine. "I finally called Bill back and said, 'We got the record.' He says, 'Mrs. Cosby will be so glad to hear that.' "I damn near cried."
