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If I wanted to sign up for an online dating service, my profile would go something like this:
Single, Christian, Black, attractive female seeking a single, Christian, Black, attractive male. Must be God loving, motivated, working, intelligent, outgoing and open to try new things. Must love sports (especially basketball - go Suns!), music, traveling and the outdoors. Loving rollercoaster's is a definite plus, but not a requirement! He should also have a good appetite as I love to cook. Most importantly, must be loyal, faithful and honest!
In talking with other women, I thought my list was brief and not asking for too much. Most of the women I polled had lists a mile long, complete with details on bank accounts, job titles and make and models of cars. I only ask for things that I will give of myself to the right person.
During one of my DAILY debates with my Uncle the other day, I left feeling a little hopeless in my search for love.
The conversation started because I had voiced concern about not going on any dates since my return to Rochester this past September. My Uncle asked me about a guy I used to like when I lived here before. I told him that I had been in touch with him and he was doing well. My Uncle suggested that I call him to go out with. I told him that we never really dated before and that the attraction was one-sided. I also told him that the man in question was a "playa" for lack of a better term. I told him that I wanted someone who was totally committed to me. That's when my Uncle said the words that have stuck in my head ever since - "I hope you like being alone, because you will never find anyone with will be 100% committed or faithful!"
WOW!
I haven't had much luck in the relationship department. I was usually the one who gave 150% and got a fraction of a percentage back in return. These relationships always ended with heartache and hurt feelings. Thing is, I knew in the beginning of these relationships that they were one-sided. I guess I always hoped for a change in heart.
As most of us have from one time to another, I've settled for relationships that served a purpose or provided whatever I thought I needed at that time. The only things that resulted from those "flings" were hurt feelings and emptiness.
THANK GOD FOR MATURITY!!! Once I reached 40 (I'm 44 now), I decided that I would no longer accept anything less than I could offer - under any circumstances. I refuse to settle for less. Praying for a soul-mate is part of my nightly ritual and I always believe that God will send my King to me, when it's the right time. According to my Uncle, my prayers won't be answered.
So the question is:
1. Do I continue to walk the faithful walk and pray for God to send my soul-mate?
2. Lower my standards and accept what I can get so I'm not alone/lonely?
It didn't take long for me to come to a decision. I will continue to walk in faith and hold on to my standards. You know why? Because that's what I deserve and I'm worth it! I'm a child of God, a beautiful Black Queen, and a Goddess! I won't back down - even if my Uncle says I should!
****Note to self - Add "God grant me patience, but I want it right now!" to nightly prayers.****
You can write to The Dean's List with your thoughts and comments at: TheDeansList1@gmail.com.
