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The New York Post has a rundown of Chris Rock's latest stand-up material, which debuted during the sold-out New Year's Eve launch of his comedy tour at New York's Madison Square Garden.
Following a musical set from opening act Jill Scott, Rock took the stage and admitted he was a little "nervous."
"I haven't done this in a while," said Rock, who was clad in a slick gray suit and brown silk shirt. But he quickly got down to business, covering every topic from Britney Spears to each presidential candidate's flaws.
"Britney Spears, boy. Even OJ kept his kids, and he even killed their mother," Rock cracked. "Britney went and messed up her dance moves at the MTV awards and they took her kids away. Go rehearse and get your kids back."
As for the 2008 presidential run, Rock observed, "They sure don't want you to vote - it's easier to vote on 'Dancing With the Stars.'"
On Barack Obama: "Bush f***ed up so bad, now people are like, 'We don't want another white guy in the White House' . . . but Barack don't realize he's the black candidate, talking in measured tones like he does."
On Hillary Clinton: "I think America's ready for a woman president . . . just not that woman. Being married to somebody doesn't make you good at their job. I've been with my wife 10 years now. If she got up here right now, y'all wouldn't laugh. At all. You get on a plane tomorrow, you want the pilot's wife flying you?"
On Rudy Giuliani: "Everyone says Giuliani was great on 9/11. Great on
9/11 . . . What about 9/10?"
Next Rock professed black guys' love of Rosie O'Donnell. "Black men will f*** the whole 'View,' we'll take Barbara, Joy. They will drop kick Jessica Simpson . . . and f*** Rosie O'Donnell."
Even Barry Bonds made it into Rock's new act. "Our government's not trying to get bin Laden, they're trying to get Barry Bonds. If you tell me I'm gonna make more money if I take a pill, I'd be freebasing."
